How does someone think ass eating is hot?

Listen here:

Elena: There are times where I am glad to be alive when I am, and I am glad to be alive when people on the internet started publicly getting on the ass-eating train. As with any sexual act there can be hundreds of reasons why someone finds it hot. The baseline for me is this: if people are clean, there is not really an inch of the body that I don’t find sexy or wouldn’t want to lick/kiss/touch and the ass just falls into that. Not only does it fall into that but it’s full of wonderfully sensitive nerve endings. 

I get that people find it gross, that they can’t remove the ass from its famous function of pooping, it’s a very fair stance. However when I’m in the heat of the moment I just don’t think about any of that stuff, our bodies are there for pleasure and connection and I welcome any form that takes. 

Melody: Ass eating has been around for as long as there’ve been asses and tongues, and, as with all the best things, it was big in the queer scene before the straights twigged to it. But certainly ass eating is having a moment, whether it’s Marnie bent over a sink while Desi goes to town in Girls, Nicki Minaj rapping “He toss my salad like his name Romaine” in Anaconda (salad tossing = analingus), or this wonderful moment in Patricia Lockwood’s novel No One Is Talking About This: 

“ Our enemies! What if they had planted the thing about eating ass, to make us all suddenly want and claim to eat ass, to talk constantly about our devotion to eating ass, to pose on our album covers with napkins tied around our necks and knives and forks poised over delectable asses? God, it was genius! No swifter way to bring down the supposed citizens of the free world than to transform them into a nation of ass-eaters!” 

Seriously, though, people find ass-eating hot because, well, it feels good! Or because their sexual partner/s like how it feels and getting someone else off also gets them off! Cultural taboos change over time. Back in the day the idea of eating pussy was met with derision and disgust and we’ve moved past that (most of us at least), and now it’s time for the ass to have its moment.   

Elena: For some, it is the very fact that the butt is often considered taboo and off-limits that makes it so gosh darn irresistible. For others, analingus is a pretty ordinary and helpful precursor to anal sex. 

As someone with a vagina, it’s assumed that is the part of my body that someone has sex with, and I think diverging from that is fun and makes sex feel more expansive. (I have a theory about how even straight people’s tastes are now evolving beyond the procreative imperative but we can save that for another time). When it comes to sex, especially hetero sex, I think any activity that provides more routes for pleasure than your stock-standard penetration is welcome.  

Melody: Yes! The pop culture examples I used all have women on the receiving end of analingus but straight men are having their salads tossed too. And given that anything to do with boy butts has always been coded as gay, and hence a no-go zone for straight guys, it’s bloody wonderful that straight boys are starting to let down the walls of restricitive heteronormativity, allowing themselves be vulnerable and - bonus! - welcoming new types of pleasure. 

All of this said, just because everyone else is talking about eating ass doesn’t mean they’re actually doing it, and even if they ARE all doing it, that doesn’t mean you should feel any pressure to do it if it’s not your jam! The moment something starts to feel like a norm it risks becoming coercive (i.e. everyone else is doing it so I have to do it too) but you shoudn’t ever do something sexual that you don’t want to do. Sure, it’s great to explore your boundaries, especially with someone you feel safe with, but some people will never be ass eaters and that’s totally fine. 

Elena: If you do want to try it though — or you want someone else to try on you —, there are two things that are key for me to feel comfortable and ‘hot’ with rim jobs: being clean and being waxed between the cheeks. The latter is very much a personal preference and not something that everyone will feel the need to do, but for me it’s the only hair removal I do, I love the ritual and find it quells any butt-related nerves. 

If I haven’t had the chance to shower (water wipes are good too!) or I’ve had an upset stomach, then no, the idea of someone eating my ass does not appeal. It’s cool and exciting that we each have different turn-ons so don’t worry if something is or isn’t your cup of tea, it’s all a rich tapestry baby. And remember, no sexual act should be assumed as on the table - always ask before eating.

Send your questions through to hornyonmain@renews.co.nz or DM us on the Re: Instagram or Facebook account, and just mention it’s a question for Horny on Main. All questions will be treated in confidence and kept strictly anonymous.

Illustration by Mil Hampy. 

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