Research finds most NZers struggle to talk about their sexual health

Content warning: This article mentions consent issues.

When Jennifer was diagnosed with chlamydia last year, she says it was “an embarrassing time”.

“Sexual health conversations are obviously not very normalised. They’re pretty taboo,” the 24-year-old says.

But Jennifer, who’s using a fake name for privacy reasons, says talking about sex and relationships is not only healthy, but it can help people make informed decisions.

“It can also normalise the whole idea of STIs… The amount of people that have had chlamydia or something like that, it’s so common and yet so uncomfortable to discuss.”

The silent struggle around sexual health

More than half of New Zealanders (62%) feel the need to keep sexual health concerns to themselves, according to new research from Sexual Wellbeing Aotearoa.

The study, which had 1002 respondents, found more than a third find it difficult to talk about sexual health, citing embarrassment and fear of judgement as the main reasons why.

The research also shows 59% of New Zealanders agree there’s a stigma attached to discussing sexual health and a majority (62%) believe having more open discussions would help take down these barriers.

Sexual Wellbeing Aotearoa chief executive Jackie Edmond says the consequences of the silence on sexual health matters can be significant because of missed health advice and stigma.

“We really want people to go have chats, and talk about it, get tests, get the things they need to make sure they keep healthy.”

Dismantling stigma with quirky plushies

Edmond says the research motivated the organisation to launch “Emotional Support Bits” – quirky custom plushies shaped like intimate parts.

Sexual Wellbeing Aotearoa chief executive Jackie Edmond says the consequences of the silence on sexual health matters can be significant because of missed health advice and stigma. Photo: Supplied

It’s a competition encouraging participants to submit a black and white sketch of what they want their “emotional support bit” to look like (it can be a drawing of their own bit) and winners get a plushie of their own.

The Emotional Support Bit plushies in the form of intimate parts. Photo: Sexual Wellbeing Aotearoa

The plushies are designed to spark conversations and dismantle taboos around sexual wellbeing – making the uncomfortable comfortable.

“We’re having a little bit of fun with this but essentially what we’re trying to do is raise awareness that it’s okay to talk about your sexual health [and] to talk about your sexual bits,” Edmond says.

‘Sharing stories is how we’ve learned and stayed informed’

The research also reveals nearly a third (31%) of New Zealanders admitted feeling uncomfortable discussing sexual health, with women and rural populations reporting higher levels of discomfort.

Jennifer says: “We’re taught so much about how to avoid getting pregnant but not enough about having safe, healthy and fulfilling sexual experiences.”

She says she and her friends have had so many conversations about the stigma over the years.

“Sharing stories is how we’ve learned and stayed informed, so it’s something we make a point to do often.”

If the stigma hadn’t been so strong when they were younger, she says they might have avoided challenges like consent issues, misuse of condoms and other contraception, or struggling to openly talk about sex with their partners.

She says they started to see how common and normal sex was in their 20s and realised they’re all in the same boat.

“Taking care of not just our own sexual health but supporting others too is so important. Open, honest conversations are definitely key to making that happen."

Where to get help:

1737: The nationwide, 24/7 mental health support line. Call or text 1737 to speak to a trained counsellor.
Suicide Crisis Line: Free call 0508 TAUTOKO or 0508 828 865. Nationwide 24/7 support line operated by experienced counsellors with advanced suicide prevention training.
Youthline: Free call 0800 376 633, free text 234. Nationwide service focused on supporting young people.
OUTLine NZ: Freephone 0800 OUTLINE (0800 688 5463). National service that helps LGBTIQ+ New Zealanders access support, information and a sense of community.

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